The Australian sense of humour is quite unique...

Views in Verse - on sex.

The Australian sense of humour is quite unique...
and when it comes to a bawdy tale could even leave Chaucer bemused!

The Tadpole song

 (Ode to Elle)

I was watching the late news
alone one night
When a tanned vision spits white light
From out of my set she pouts at me
Calling from a beach longingly
A white bikini paper thin
Came alive on soft brown skin

She sure got all the moves
She sure got all the grooves
Nothin' she got that you can't see
Everything she got does it all for me
In no time at all
A mindful stroke
And I nearly dropped my tadpoles folks!!!

But I wasn't the only one put to the test
The network bounced back to the anchor desk
To a dude in a suit look'n flustered as me
Clearly feasting on what he'd see'd
Splutterin' forth with mindless glee...
he says to the world untidily:

She sure got all the moves
She's sure got all the grooves
Nothin that she got that you can't see
 ...What she's got ...does it all for me...well , well...
..splutter ...choke ..."there's my career up in smoke
'cos I've just dropped my tadpoles folks"

The facts are plain for us to see
A man has needs that he must feed
It's on our minds a lot they say
Far too much in a given day
Our thoughts turn to it every ninety seconds
A little too often I think
...don't you reckon?

Wait on a buzz is coming to me now
This ain't good
as I'm telling you how...
With too much time
These thoughts come along
Need to cut down
this very long song
To a shorter one
that would do just fine
Gotta get it down to
a minute twenty nine!!!

But look here girls this is just a ruse
In fact ...amongst this lot ...there ain't much truth
We love you true with all our parts
Even our dusty lusty old hearts

So take us home, forget the alarm
Go on muster that sultry charm
No need for makeup, pearls or beads
A simple man has simple needs

Summoning that rush begs little chance
Really It takes just a sideways glance
To fire up your man you will see...
And go and set those tadpoles free

You've sure got all the moves
You've sure got all the grooves
Everything you got is what I see
All you got ...is all I need

You do it, you do it ...just for me

That's all folks !



Sent from my iPad